As is often the case when a living will is not in place, families are having to make decision about aging spouses, siblings, and parents. These situations and decisions cause great strain on families and relationships about how best to care for a loved one. Younger family members are frequently involved in making decisions and arrangements for their beloved elders who can no longer complete activities that many of us take for granted - like driving a car, managing their own finances, and the ability to live independently.
The participants in most of the family-type mediation procedures vary from case to case, and family to family. Possibilities include the parents, adult children, spouses, and grandchildren. Non-family members, such as geriatric care managers, caregivers, attorneys, financial advisors, and family friends, may also participate if the family both (desire and) agree to their presence. These non-family members are considered 'helpful advisors' and, where appropriate, as a proxy for an elderly family member who is either physically or mentally unable to represent themselves in the mediation process. Your JK Associates Mediator will help you to determine if the participation of any other outside parties could be helpful in determining the best outcome.
Elder mediation provides a structured and effective process for family members to make important decisions connected with the life of an aging family member. The need for mediation may come about because of changes in a parent’s circumstances, such as financial or safety concerns, death of a spouse, or physical or mental decline. Or perhaps the parents themselves are wanting their adult children to understand their perspective and to make mutual agreements. Families in mediation might address such issues as care-taking arrangements for a parent, residential arrangements, driving, financial planning, inheritance, medical treatment, power of attorney, or even guardianship.
These decisions weigh heavily on those who have to make them, resulting in mental stress, and damaged relationships. A Mediator such as Jim Kuykendall can help family members improve communications, and work through the issues allowing them to arrive at a solution that is acceptable for all. Even in the best of family situations, communications can break down, the concerns are never discussed, decisions are not made, and resentment or anger, can build. Making decisions for your elders is stressful enough, a mediator can help with creating as calm and stress-free an experience as possible, by keeping the mediation process moving forward.
The goal of elder mediation is for disputing parties to reach an agreement regarding the ongoing care and comfort of the elderly family member(s). The agreement, referred to as a “Memorandum of Agreement”, is formally recorded by the mediator, completing the first stage. The parties are encouraged to have the agreement reviewed by independent legal counsel at this point. After such review, the parties return to mediation for additional discussion regarding the provisions, potential revisions, and to finalize the agreement. Once signed, the agreement becomes a legally binding contract that can be incorporated into any decree entered by the court system.
Sometimes families have to make important decisions for their aging spouses, siblings, and elderly parents; and sometimes these decisions can create stressful situations on family relationships when it comes to things like how best to care for a loved one who is unable to do so for his or her own self. When a family member’s lives become more restricted, and they are no longer able to drive, live alone, and/or generally require assistance with the requirements of daily living, they likely need an increased level of care.
Likewise families struggle with decisions regarding care for their loved ones with special needs. These decisions can also cause great stress and push relationships to extreme levels of mental anguish. At JK Mediation, our team members help family members work through these and other issues by keeping the discussion focused, building on the positive, and in some cases, even restoring a little sanity. We have first-hand experience dealing with elderly and special needs family members, bringing the benefits of his work experience forward.
Even in the best of family situations, communications can break down, important conversations never happen, resulting in a potential loop of dissatisfaction. Remaining unresolved, the entire family could be affected by these issues.
Mediation can help families deal with issues such as:
Mediation also helps families deal with other issues such as: